April 26, 2013

Does This Outfit Make Me Look Old?

I know you can't see me, but I'm guessing it does. I have on jeans that cover my entire posterior and go all the way to my ankles. OK, let's be honest. I have short legs, so they're actually a little longer than that. I also have on a t-shirt that's not tight, not sheer, has sleeves, and shows neither my cleavage nor my midriff. My feet and arms are bare, but that's pretty much the only skin I'm showing below the neck.

So, do I look old?

I'm thinking that must be the case, what with all the media glorification contraversy about Victoria's Secret's new line of sexy, revealing lingerie for middle school aged girls, and Gwyneth Paltrow's infant bikini designs.

I'm guessing that since I keep seeing all the hype about adolescent girls and young women who can't sleep at night until they are so malnourished that their pencil-thin thighs don't touch, my modest wardrobe must really show my advanced years. Just ask any of the magazines and other media geared toward that demographic. They'll swiftly proclaim that any woman whose thighs touch or whose hipbones don't protrude is NOT young and attractive and should never wear a bathing suit or shorts.

Sweet Pea is now out of toddler sizes and we've had to wander over to the little girls' section of the clothing racks. I realize she's only three, but in case I haven't mentioned it before, she's tall. My three-year-old girl is the same height as the average five-year-old. So, we've had to leave the 5T clothes behind and start shoppping for size XS in girls.
I find it disturbing that now we're facing strapless dresses, lacy tanktops, and shorts on which the legs are only as long as the crotch. These clothes are designed for FIVE-YEAR-OLDS!! I even saw a t-shirt in Sweet Pea's size that contained a message with something along the lines of how winning is more important than having friends.
Now, that's a message I want to send to my little girl.

So, I think we can safely assume that because my clothes fit and do not contain any disparaging messages about choosing winning over friends, I look old. That's OK. I look my age and I am certainly not going to try to find the fountain of youth in clothes that were not made for people my age - or, for people who like to leave something to the imagination.

You can probably guess why I have such a problem with all of this.

It makes me wonder what these trends are doing to our daughters' self-esteem. If you don't think dressing immodestly has anything to do with self-esteem, I urge you to seek out and talk to a fifteen-year-old girl who has been programmed to believe that the only way she will be pretty enough for boys to notice her is if she shows off her body.
They're not difficult to find. Just walk into any random high school and take your pick.

And, speaking of girls getting noticed for showing off their bodies, isn't that what we teach our daughters when we parade them around in midriff-bearing tops and short shorts when they're barely out of the nursery? That it's good to be noticed for their bodies? That THAT is what we want people to see when they look at us?
What happens when she dresses that way and boys still don't look at her the way they look at her friend? What happens when she doesn't want to be noticed that way? What does that do to her self-esteem?

Of course, Sweet Pea wears shorts. She just doesn't wear shorts that show her underwear. I have no problem with her going sleeveless, but I do have a problem with her wearing a spaghetti-strapped tank top with lace cut in a design to show off her non-existent cleavage. Why do they even make those clothes in her size??
I'm not suggesting that we go back to wearing corsets and covering ourselves from neck to foot, but I don't see why it should even be an option to dress a little girl - still a baby, really - in clothes befitting a lady of the evening.

Some of you are going to say that I'm being a prude. Some of you are going to say that girls should be able to wear whatever they want and show whatever they want, because boys don't have to be covered up, so why should girls?
I agree. Girls SHOULD be able to. But, I live in the real world, where there are creepy people and womanizers and boys who have not been taught to respect and value women. Maybe someday, girls will be able to walk around with all their body parts hanging out and no one will leer at them or make them into sexual objects.
Then, the whole world can dance on rainbows and give each other lollipops and sing "Peace Train" in perfect harmony.

I would love it if all the parents who have sons would teach their boys, who will be men someday, that women are worth more than their body parts, and to seek out and respect women who respect themselves, who are smart, and who will still be good company long after their physical beauty has faded.

Until then, here at Head Manor, we're going to keep our goodies covered.

I would also like to implore the media to STOP telling my daughter and my friends' daughters that they have to look like stick figures and wear next to nothing to be attractive. It's a big, fat, honking lie.

So, how old does this outfit make me look?



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