What I am about to say is going to shock and amaze those of you who are sports fans. What I say after that is going to amuse those of you who are not.
A new episode of Downton Abbey is airing at 8 p.m. tonight - during the Super Bowl!
OK, now that the sports fans have gotten their smelling salts and recovered from the case of the vapors they suffered upon receiving the knowledge that the world does not revolve around football and that there are millions of people who could not care less about the Super Bowl, I'll let you in on a little secret.
I'm not a sports fan, and will be watching Downton Abbey.
Gasp!
If you, like me, are not a sports fan, this little tidbit of information is not surprising to you at all. Someone (my dear and loving husband) told me that they usually don't run new episodes of popular TV shows during the Super Bowl. I was a little afraid I was going to break his heart when I told him that something else was going to be on. You see, he was raised in a family of avid sports fanatics.
I wasn't.
No one in my house ever watched the Super Bowl. Ever. I didn't even know what time of year it took place until I was in my mid-twenties and people took a break from my birthday party to go and watch the infernal thing. That's no exaggeration. You have probably encountered very few people who know less about sports than I do.
And, somehow, every year, we still managed to watch our favorite shows in spite of the biggest American sports night of the year.
It's not that I think there's anything wrong with sports. Everyone has their own interests and that's great! It's not like I walk around making snarky remarks about dumb jocks
I just don't get the actual game. I'm as bored by sports as a non-reader would be by War and Peace. I've tried. Really, I have. I've gone to a few football games and baseball games, and even one (ugh) basketball game. It's almost always on the tv when DWH is home, and I wanted to be able to participate in the occasional conversation with his family (which always, ALWAYS turns to sports in one way or another).
Alas, fifteen minutes into a four hour game, my eyes are glazed over and my brain is trying to put all seven dwarves in alphabetical order, just to have something to do.
There are some perks to watching the game, though. You know how, when there's a tornado, the media searches for the looniest woman in the most colorful muumuu with the most curlers in her hair, so everyone can hear her say, "LAWD! It sounded just like a freight train was a-comin' through m'yard! An' all I could thank about was, Betty Sue's still got my dadburn casserole dish!" (Shout out to Sara V)
I'm pretty sure that's the goal of the post-game interviews. They look a little like this:
Interviewer: "How did you accomplish this victory?"
Football player: "Well, you know, you know, you know, you know. We just, ah...uh...uh...uh...you know. You know. You know, you know, you know, you know. We uh...uh...just uh...basically just ah...we just, you know. You know, you know. You know, you know, you know. Basically, we just, uh, you know."
For a non-sports fan, that's great comic relief!
It's been an interesting adjustment, assimilating into this family of sports people. You see, and I think I might have said this before, my family are just not the sportsy types. OK, yes, there was the occasional Alabama football game on in our house during what I now know is called "football season." That's the fall. I didn't make that connection until I went to college. Seriously. But, that was pretty much the extent of it. In hubby's family, sports is what's on TV, on the radio in the car, and usually the topic of conversation. Thank goodness for my sister-in-law who can translate for me!
So, sports fans, are you stunned? Did you know there were countless people who don't give a flying fig about the Super Bowl and will be watching something with a plot this evening?
DWH thinks he's going to convince me to watch Downton Abbey on amazon later so he can watch the game tonight. Hmph. We'll see.
I love you, sports fans. Now, feel free to make fun of my nose being stuck in a book, my dorky big words, my taste in music, and my odd sense of humor. It's ok. I know you love me, too, even if I don't watch the Super Bowl.
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