Just a Couple of Pictures

Sweet Pea is still a little camera shy. I promise her smile is beautiful.

He looks like such a big boy, dressed like his daddy and eating graham crackers.

We Make the Rockin' World Go 'Round.

I've seen a little of it on Facebook. I've noticed it in the media because, well, who hasn't? But, it was not until my I began to feed my Pinterest addiction that I really started seeing the big trend.

Before I even begin, let me say that I am well aware that I am overweight. I am not going to use the word "fat" because people who call themselves "fat" do it for one of two reasons: They either have low self-esteem or they are fishing for compliments. Neither of those applies to me. It's simply that I really enjoy food and put too much of it in my mouth, and I would rather spend time with my kids than with sweaty strangers in a gym. Therefore, I weigh more than I'm supposed to.
I'm not happy about it and I plan suck it up and remedy the situation. However...

Why, oh why, is it no longer socially acceptable to have a female body shape?

Can someone explain this one? Please?

I lose count of the number of pins I see on Pinterest with links to some exercise program or diet that promises to help the pinner, "Lose that lower belly that women have," or "Get rid of those wide, womanly hips." The pictures accompanying the claims are almost always depict the torso of some poor woman who looks like she has just been released from a war prison.
This is beauty?
This is what I'm supposed to aspire to?
I'm supposed to want to be shaped like an adolescent boy??

I understand that some women would rather not have the ample posterior that I have (and have always had, even when I wasn't overweight). It does make it a little more difficult to buy pants. I happen to like my body type, and I cannot lie. (You're singing it, aren't you? You're welcome.)

I grew up hearing statements like, "I saw So-and-So the other day. She's put on weight." I'm no stranger to such eloquent labels as, "Fat as a cow," "big as a barn," and, "beached whale," when describing women who have recently added a few pounds. I am aware that thinner is considered more attractive in our culture.

But, I have always been inclined to believe that the hourglass figure was more attractive than the stick figure. Have I been wrong all this time?
Wait, is my husband wrong???

Even more frightening, is Kate Moss right?? Is it true that, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels?" Haha! Nope. You can tell Ms. Moss isn't Southern, because she has obviously never had fried green tomatoes or red velvet cake.
Oh, and by the way, Ms. Moss, please stop telling our daughters this malarkey. Thanks.

I know that being overweight isn't healthy, and I can definitely tell a difference in the way I feel now compared to when there was less of me.
You know what else is unhealthy? I'll make you a list, because you know how much I love making lists.

• Fad diets. All of them. I may be a big girl, but I do know that cutting entire food groups and adding chemicals and other unnatural ingredients to your food in order to trick your body into being thin is not healthy.
• Diet pills and supplements. Ask your doctor. I did.
• Starvation. You wouldn't do that? Well, maybe not, but teenaged girls and young women who just can't seem to get skinny enough do it every day.
• Binging and purging. See above. Yep, it happens. It's closer to you than you think. There are pro-anorexia and pro-bulimia organizations, websites, etc. Do your research.

Another thing I would like to know is why we are considered devoid of any beauty whatsoever if our bodies show any signs of having carried children.
I have stretch marks. My belly is bigger than it used to be. The girls are a little lower.
I had two babies. I wouldn't trade them for a more taut abdomen. I also don't feel as if I have to buy special lotions, get plastic surgery, or do five million sit-ups to try to hide the signs of being a mom.
I am a mom. I'm also a wife and my husband still adores me and finds me attractive, so why does it matter if I have stretch marks?
I'm more beautiful now than I was before, because I've carried two beautiful babies.

If anyone can make heads or tails of this craziness, I'd be much obliged.
In the meantime, can we implore the media to STOP telling my daughter she's not pretty enough if she doesn't starve herself?? Please??

You Know, Some of Them Aren't So Bad.

In a previous post, I discussed the differences in my childhood perceptions of the Disney princesses, and my views when I watched them with Madeline over the past couple of years. Oh, Snow White. Such a pretty dress, yet so little substance.

The princess get a lot of flack for being, essentially, vapid beauties who can't think for themselves and therefore need a man to rescue them.
Come to think of it, this is a pretty accurate description. Don't even get me started on Sleeping Beauty and her lack of emotional response to anything other than the idea that she might never again see the guy she met twenty minutes ago.

I'm not one of those people who thinks that if my daughter watches the princess movies, she's going to be influenced to become like Ariel and give up her entire life for some stranger she sees passed out on the beach. I like to give my children a little more credit than that. They're not stupid and I don't believe they will be so easily brainwashed by something as simple as a 1.5 hour cartoon.

That said, allow me to let you in on a little secret. Not all the Disney princesses are vacuous damsels in distress. I'd like to introduce you to a few of the Disney women who, if she were to allow herself to be influenced by the media, I would want Sweet Pea to try to emulate.

Mulan: Her world tells her that the only way for her to have any honor is for her to find a man, obey his every command, and be a human gumball machine for his babies.
Mulan responds by saying, "Um, yeah. That sounds great and all, but, I think I'm going to put on some armor and singlehandedly save China from the Huns, instead. Y'all have fun with that whole being enslaved to your husband thing."
Sweet Pea actually quotes this one fairly often. The other day, she was mad at me and told me, "Mommy! You are the craziest man I have ever met!"
I had to turn away and laugh for a second at this one, because, well, how do you control your laughter after your three-year-old says that?

Merida (Brave): This is a more recent discovery. Women of Merida's age and station must have their suitors, and eventually their husbands, chosen for them. It is, according to her mother, what she has been preparing for since birth.
Merida's response? "Nope. You can bring all the men home for me that you want. I don't want to get married, yet. I'm going to take my bow and arrow and have myself a little adventure before I settle down. Oh, and if and when I decide I want to be someone's wife, I'll be choosing the husband by myself, thanks."

Tiana (The Princess and the Frog): Here, we see an African-American waitress living in New Orleans in the 1920's. Her dream is not to snag a man, as she reminds us several times that she has no time for such nonsense, but to own her own restaurant. It may seem that the odds are stacked against her, but she has a goal in mind and she will not sleep until she achieves it. She gets her restaurant through determination and hard work. She gets the prince, too, but he's really just a bonus.

Rapunzel (Tangled): Rapunzel is kidnapped as an infant as locked in a tower for eighteen years. She has never been outside and has no clue who her real parents are. Yet, she refuses to play the victim card. She overcomes her hardships through her own merits without ever once feeling that she is entitled to make poor life choices, simply because she didn't have a great start. Again, yes, she gets the guy. Again, just a bonus. Her real accomplishment is freedom. She also chops off her long, flowing blond tresses in favor of a short, mousy brown 'do, which could be interpreted as her thumbing her nose at conventional ideas of beauty.

So, see? Princesses are not all going to turn our little girls into future Stepford wives. But, hey, if your daughter's dream is to be exactly like Cinderella someday, take heart. At least she's not watching Teen Mom.

Happy National Grammar Day!

I'm going to venture a guess that you didn't know there was a national holiday for those of us who judge you based upon whether you understand the difference between less and fewer.

Now, you know.

For the remainder of the day, you are required to administer a well-deserved smack to anyone who asks where an item is, "at."
You must also haphazardly strew Spanish moss and kudzu throughout the trees and bushes of anyone you suspect of writing your in place of you're, or miswriting there, their, or there.
The punishment for using non-words, such as irregardless, conversate, or unthaw, will be jail time or a fifty-thousand dollar fine.

Happy National Grammar Day to all!
Remember, every time you use an apostrophe to make a word plural, a puppy dies.